For My Father
by Rotto Sole
Summary: Katniss is fighting herself and those around her to understand her fathers wishes left behind and the events before her will change her life. in the process of discovering her fathers secrets she finds herself falling in love, but with who? NOTE: this story is a mix of the books and movie and some scenarios and events are different and original. R&R please :)
1. Chapter 1

HUNGER GAMES

book 1

chapter 1

All characters. similar plots. or identical portions are property of Suzanne Collins. I own nothing but the crazy madness within my mind.

Chapter One: Promises to a Dead Man

"KATNISS! No!" Gale shouted at me as I dodged under the arm of the Peacekeeper in front of me. Scrambling to chase after me, Gale was grabbed by the Peacekeeper. I darted, slid, and fought my way through at least ten of those stupid pristinely white gloved hands reaching for me as I did everything I could to reach the entrance to that stupid mine. I heard voices everywhere but none stood out but one. I didn't know the voice, had never heard it before, but it knew me and...it cared. the voice was like a whisper in my ear and still so loud above the rest, yet I pressed on. I was almost there. I had ten feet until i reached the gaping hole in the side of the mountain. I had reached it. I reached the mouth of the retched cave that swollowed my caged bird, my first best friend. I looked back and saw the gun pointed in the air, saw the peacekeeper stare me down, saw him point it to a face in the crowd, and I turned and started down the ladder and heard the gunshot. My head snapped up and I saw the men entering, following. I hurried the fastest I ever had down the ladder to the small rickety elevator they used to haul workers. my foot reached the ground before the evelator. I looked behind me and saw the rubble and boulders blocking the path into the office. _The whole thing collapsed.. Everything.. wait. _As my eyes took in the damage in front of me I saw a hand near the bottom of the pile. I walked closer and fell to my knees. The hand..the beautiful gold ring so rare among the poorest of poor districts, the leather bracelet with Prim and my name carved delicately into it framed by ivy leaves and branches. My caged bird, my song, my best friend...my father. Frantically I reached for him. The only one. Out of 130 men in the caves my father, MY father was the last, stayed to bring everyone else to safety..and he paid the price. I begin to remove the rocks from around him. I grazed his hand and its as cold as ice but as dirty as a chimney. My eyes begin to overspill the tears and I let them fall. I hear the peacekeepers. They come faster and faster. I hurried but the rocks began to become too heavy for me to move. I see them from the corner of my eye. This will be my last moment I will have with my father. I grab his hand and remove the bacelet and ring stuffing them into my pocket. I feel them right behind me. I cling to my fathers hand kissing it and making promises to a dead man. I feel a pair of hands on my shoulders, I feel a needle stab into my neck and darkness falls before I am even lifted off the ground.

_I opened my eyes to a glorious sun stinging my skin with its heat. Sitting up and I look around me. I am curled up next to the rock my father loved to sit on and listen to the birds in the morning. I look to my left and see the cursed fence holding us hostage and keeping others out and to my right i see the small makeshift shed and the boat floating peacefully on the pond. The pond within itself is breathtaking all on its own. The light bounces off the pond surface causing a shimmering light effect. Pure white ducks float and squabble to each other on one side of the pond while cattails flutter lightly in the sweet scented spring breeze. water lilies and dazzling yellow flowers grace the edges of the water like a frame and my heart skips a beat or two as it tears into two. The scene isn't what breaks my heart. I've had so many lovely memories here. From learning how to swim to training for survival, my memories are all laced with the painful presence of my father in every single one of them. But he is the reason my breath catches in my chest. He's sitting in the boat smiling at me as if i hadn't just held his lifeless hand. I cry out to him sitting in the boat and trip over my own feet as I race to catch him but with every step he gets farther away and the sky darkens. By the time my body reaches the edge of the pond the clouds are ready to release their burden of moisture upon us as my father climbs out of the boat on the other side of the shore. He walks toward the forest with his back to me. I have to catch him to hold him one more time, to tell him I love him, to tell him I will keep my promises. I jump in and cry out his name but I know he doesn't hear me, I couldn't even hear myself. My voice is silent. I sream and holler as I splash and swim my way to him. I swim with all my might and I'm half way across when he steps into the brush along the tree line. He looks back at me and smirks an evil smirk and scoffs. Something winds around my now motionless legs and I am pulled under while I watch my fathers handsome face morph into something uncomprehendable and so horrifying it is undescribable and he turns and dissapears just as i take a gasp for air and my head is covered in water... _


	2. Chapter 2

HUNGER GAMES

Book 1

Chapter 2

All characters. similar plots. or identical portions are property of Suzanne Collins. I own nothing but the crazy madness within my mind.

Chapter Two:

I woke with a jerk but kept my eyes closed. I didn't need my eyes to know where i was. I could smell the scent of roses in the air, I could feel the sheets on my bed around me, I could hear my mother rummaging in the kitchen and chattering with Prim, but i had a feeling of unease. I felt eyes on me. My back was on fire and my head was spinning and foggy. I cracked open my eye slightly and looked towards the open door of my room. Gale was sitting there with his arms crossed and his head resting against the wall but he didn't sleep. Next to him on my dresser sat a clear pitcher full of water and a bowl with a rag draped on the side. I take another peak at Gale and fully take him in. My best friend is clothed in a dirty shirt, ragged pants, and his worn out work boots and even though his clothes are appalling the thing that scares me the most is his face. Sporting a much untamed tangle of facial hair, his face is as pale as a baby lambs fresh wool. His eyes look bruised and worn down, so tired he must be dying to sleep. His forehead is creased with worry and he is looking right at me but at the same time looking through me. He doesn't see me. I roll over on my side and fully open my eyes. I dont need to ask why he's here, I know why.

"She's awake!" he yells and rushes to the bed. Sitting next to me he takes my cold hand in his warm one. I hear a flurry of footsteps and Mother and Prim hurry in. My mother comes straight to me and push back my hair. Prim goes to the pitcher and fills up the glass she brought with her. Seeing the cup full of water I realize how dry my throat is and try to sit up. My muscles are weak from inactivity and scream out in pain. I gasp and look at my mother for answers. She tells me I was thrown from the peacekeepers arms that carried me out as another explosion went off inside the mine.

"Prim get the pillows from my bed." Prim hands the glass to Gale and my mother helps me sit up. Prim is back and my mother helps me lean forward as she places two fluffy pillows behind me. I reach put for the cup but my arm falls by my side and my back is anew with pain. I moan and close my eyes to hide them from my vision.

"Whys? Why do I still hurt?" i ask in a raspy whisper. i open my eyes and seek my mothers face. She's worried to say the truth, to tell me I'm damaged. She knows how much I hate being sick.

"You..you fractured a vertebrae and tore a muscle. You'll have limited motion for at least a month Kat." I smile at the nickname my mother used. My father gave it to me. My father. He's dead now.. The pain in my heart is worse than the pain from the gigantic sob I heave as i remember my last moment with him. I cover my face with my hands and lean in to my lap ignoring the fire from hell covering my body.

"I.. I'm sorry Katniss, i should have realized.." she dropped off as she places her hand on my head. I ignore her apology, her gesture of comfort, the unease in the room as they all watch me weep. My mother removes her hand and shuffles little Prim out the door. Gale is the only one who stays and he reaches for me, reaches to pull me into his arms.

"NOOO! NO! No! no.." I scream at him. I want to be left alone. I want to remember my father but at the moment I can't even remember what he smelled like. I do not want the people i love to be around me while I cry for my loss. I don't want to look at them one day in the future and the only thing i can remember about them is that they held me while I cried.

"Get. Out." I say to Gale as harshly and as loud as my voice will let me but to my ears it is a whimper.

"But Katniss.." he says placing a hand on my back.

"NOW! Leave me alone! I don't need you, I don't need anyone! I just want him.." I whisper the last sentence as i sit up too quickly and throw the pillows at Gale. they hit him in the chest and slide to the ground and the pain is almost unbearable but the look and hurt on Gale's face hurts me more.

"Gale..I.." but the words are stuck in my dusty dry throat. He bends down and picks up the pillows off the floor and sets them at the foot of the bed. He turns to leave and i roll over and cry a new wave of tears. My caged Mockingjay, my best friend is gone and now because of my ugliness I lost the other one. I hear the door click shut and i fall into sleep as tears continue to run down my face.

_I open my eyes and I am standing along the tree line watching the wind swirl the leaves in the air. The beautiful colors of Autumn assault my eyes and i turn away from the bright sun. And then i see him. My father is standing ten feet from me in the trees. He turns and runs darting past trees and jumping over rocks and logs. My legs carry me to him and i run as fast as i can to keep up. i chase and he runs. We run farther than we've ever been in the woods before. The giant oaks and firs thin out and the soft dirt between my bare toes turns rocky and sharp. The smooth flesh of my feet become bloody and shredded but I still chase after him. The hitch in my side and my weak legs grow tired and i begin to slow down but my father speeds up with a look over his shoulder. It's hopeless, no use. I know he's too fast for me. but just as he reaches the edge of a cliff he turns around and looks at me, smiles and drops the leather bound book in his hand that i hadn't noticed before. And then he falls backwards into the ravine. My hand reaches for him and my gasp is the only sound in the desolate place but I hear no splash and know he didn't reach the bottom. I walk towards the book and reach down to grab it but when my hand makes contact with the book, the book and i fall into a dark never ending hole. _

My eyes pop open and I am sweating and panting. i rip of the blankets covering my body and wipe my face with my hand.

"You thrash in your sleep." i let out a yelp and look towards the door. As always the door is open and the chair is placed next to it and like the last time I opened my eyes Gale was sitting there watching over me. His appearance was an improvement since the last time I saw him. His face was freshly shaved and his clothes were clean but his eyes were still tired and sad, the bruising around them only slightly reduced.

"Geez Gale! Are you trying to give me a heart attack because so far you're right track." He chuckled and smiled that little half smile he does when something is funny but he's too worried about other things to laugh. i look out my bedroom window and the the sun setting. When I last woke up the sun had been down and the moon and stars were dancing. I must have slept through another day.

"Calm down Kid. Your fine now. Are you hungry?" He asks as he walks over and helps me sit up placing the pillows behind me.

"I am starving!" I say as I lick my chapped lips. He chuckles again and hands me the moist towel from the bowl. he turns and leaves I assume to get food. I wipe my face with the towel, wiping away the tears cried for my father. My eyes water again and i push down the pain. _No, Katniss. Enough crying for now. _I wipe my face free of tears this time and look down at my legs. They are bare except for the long night gown stopping at mid thigh and have been scrubbed clean. As a matter of fact my whole body has been washed. But the cleanliness of my legs isn't what shocks me. It's the giant brushes battering my legs and arms. I lift up my night gown. Yep, they're there too. _Must have been from the explosion. _Gale returns with a plate of food and a glass of milk on a tray. He places the tray on my legs and I reach for the fork. I make contact with the cool metal and smile about the fact that my motor skills are better today. I stab the chicken with my fork and cut a piece off then stuff my mouth with it.

"So how long have I been out?" I ask around my mouth full of chicken.

"About 4 days when you woke up yesterday. You gave us all a scare. They had to sedate you in the mine and when you came out and went sailing through the air you were still asleep. Didn't even wake up or flinch. I thought you were..dead." he says looking down at his hands. He had moved the chair closer when he sat down and i could tell he was upset.

"Gale... I'm sorry for yelling at you yesterday." i say trying to make things right, ease his worry. I remember that look from when we were children. Once he gave me a cookie and wouldn't tell me where he had gotten it from. Later that day our entire class room had to stand up for the rest of the day because no one would tell who had taken the cookie. Gale had fiddled with his hands the whole time like he was now. We were 8 then. How long ago. How so much has changed and yet some things remain the same. I remember the day we met like it had been just yesterday. His mother brought him to my house so my mother could stitch up the knife cut he had gotten from playing with his fathers knife. My mom had been pregnant with Prim and the other baby and i was only 4. Gale was bawling his eyes out and was so upset. His mother told me he was the same age as me. I didn't know what to say and i ran and hid behind my fathers winter coat hanging on its peg on the wall. I listened as he wailed and wailed while my mother patched him up.

"It's ok Katnip. I know what its like to lose your father.." he sighed and slumped in his chair as he ran his hand through his wavy brown locks. Gale's father died when we were 11. Shot by a peacekeeper. Terrible things happen in district 12 that are against the law and it gets worse and worse every year.

"Gale! Your brother is here!" Gale gets up and leaves the room as i finish my dinner. As I am drinking the last of my milk Gale enters with Charlie his 16 year old brother. i gulp down my milk quickly and blush as i realize I'm indecent, and alone with two young men. I pull the covers over my legs as Gale takes his seat in the chair and his brother stands in the doorway.

"Here. Mom sent me to bring these to you." Charlie says as he steps up to the side of my bed and hands me a handful of wild flowers.

"Th-tha-thanks." i stammer out as I take them from him and set them next to my nightstand.

"Yep." he shifts from side to side and then turns and exits. A minute later i hear our front door creak open and close. My mother comes in and takes the tray from my nightstand.

"How are you feeling sweetheart? Much better I'm guessing. That sure was sweet of Charlie to bring those flowers, I'll get a vase and put them in it. Do you want them in here? Of course you do, silly me. Are you comfortable? I'll get you another pillow." and with her rambling done my mother scurries out of the room to do useless tasks for me that she decided I needed. Gale and I look at each other and laugh so hard I start snorting. We know without saying anything why we are both laughing. My mother didn't even take a breath to give someone the opportunity to answer her questions. Gale is right out howling now with laughter and I clutch my stomach to keep it from exploding. I catch a glimpse of the window and notice the moon is out and shining now.

"Kat, are you ready to take a bath?" my mother calls from the living room. I look at Gale and he knows its time to leave now and it makes me sad. I enjoy being with him.

"I have to go home anyways, hunting in the morning." he says as he gets up and puts the chair back. "Bye Katnip." and he bends down and kisses me on the forehead. Before it even registers he is out of the front door and my mother is waltzing in to help me to the living room.


	3. Chapter 3

HUNGER GAMES

Book 1

Chapter 1

All characters, similar plots, or identical portions are property of Suzanne Collins. I own nothing but the crazy madness within my mind.

Chapter 3: Caught in the Storm

_*Three Weeks Later*_

"Katniss? Hello?" My math teacher called my name and I jolt from my day dream. My classmates giggle and I blush, sinking into my seat.

"Day dreaming again are we? Morning detention. For a week." Mrs. Puckerbee tsks as she returns to teaching. I sigh and look behind my shoulder and find Gale's eyes. They are watching me just like they have been since the accident. Kind of creepy really. But in a way...sweet. I've become accustomed to people watching me. People watch my health, people watch to make sure I don't fall, people watch to make sure I don't kill myself, people watch to make sure I don't fall into depression, and I smile for them all and act like I'm fine but underneath I'm another sinking boat caught in a miserable storm. No one knows how sad and miserable I am without him. I miss my father so much. I miss his sweet voice singing in the morning before work, I miss the coal dust he tracked in from work, I miss watching him dance with my mother and hearing her giggle. There isn't much laughing around my house anymore. Prim cries constantly and refuses to come out of her room. Prim's tenth birthday is in a week and she won't have father take her to pick berries the day before so my mother can make a pie. Birthdays are special and sad around district 12. Another day to live but another day to struggle. Peacekeepers are violent and strict, they punish every minor offense. Just the other day an old man was whipped on the public platform call The Docs for trying to sell his chickens eggs on the street. The Peacekeepers whipped and fined him for "not having a vendor's license." The bell rings and I gather my stuff and as I am about to get up to leave a note is tossed on my desk and I look up to see the giver. Madge smiles at me and turns away as her blonde hair stands out against her bright blue dress. The Mayor's daughter and I have been friends since I stood up to some girls bullying her about her frilly socks. We hang out occasionally and our fathers got along quite well. Once when my father had a meeting with the Mayor he brought me along to play with Madge. We were 8 years old and completely different. She was clean and primped in her proper crisp baby pink dress and I was rugged and wild in my pants and smudged t-shirt but we didn't care. We were children and we played tag running around the house laughing. We were beginning to get tired and decided to take a short break when father rushed to the door and grabbed our jackets. I recall him pulling me to him as he knelt down and put my jacket on me and then placed his over my shoulders and pulled the hood up over my head. He picked me up and placed my head into the crook of his neck and told me to keep my head down until we were home. I was so confused and I worried most of the way home but eventually fell asleep. When I woke up later that evening to the sounds of muffled arguing i knew my mother was not happy with my father and they yelled at each other and then a door opened, heavy footsteps made their way across the house and out the front door slamming it on their way out. Coming from the sobbing next door I knew it had been my father who left. I remember sneaking out of my room and making my way into my parents room where my mother lay crying on the bed and clutching a pillow. I called out to her and she buried her face in the pillow. I crawled into bed with my mother and petted her head while she cried and eventually she fell asleep and so did I. I vaguely remember being woken late into the night by my father crawling into bed and pulling us both closer. He smelled like camp fire and I knew he had been hunting in the woods. One of my favorite memories was laying in that bed curled up to my fathers chest, rubbing his shirt in between my fingers. I miss him. Things have been hard without him but, I'm surviving.

"Katnip, let's go." Gale said as he put his hand on my elbow. Gale has been at my side constant;y since the accident. It's cute and all but I'm starting to get tired of it.

"Actually, Gale, I'm gonna go home I think." I say turning towards the office and leaving Gale behind as he calls after me. Because of the accident and my father's death I can now excuse myself from school any time I want. I sign myself out and walk out. Sighing I step into the hot sun. It's almost summer and my anticipation for break to be here is overwhelming on some days. The wind blows hotly and I can hear the birds singing a song. I sing along but it gets eerily quiet and I stop. The birds continue on and the song is beautiful. I see my house in the distance and smile. I've spent my whole life in this house on the very edge of town. I've played games in the front yard with Prim and been chased around the house by my father. I've built snowmen and made snow angels in the dirty snow. So many memories I have and each one of them is laced with my father's presence. He will forever be a part of me. I walk through the front door and hang my stuff on my peg. I see my sisters stuff and wonder if she even went to school this morning. Probably not. We all loved my father but Prim was especially attached to him. Mother and I are surviving but Prim is devastated, unsure of how to deal with the pain and tears each little memory brings up. I worry about her. At the age of fourteen I'm almost old enough to stand on my own but Prim is only nine. She is still a child. A child without a father, who will always remember and feel that absence of such a wonderful man. Prim will always remember the memories she had of him as a young child. Memories that will blur and fuzz around the edges in a young childs mind from age. I turn from the wall and take the glass of water my mother is handing to me. We do okay on money for now. My father got a raise about a year and a half before he died. He was originally a miner working in the tunnels swinging a pick axe but he worked in the office as the manager before he died. From what I've discussed with mother we will be able to survive for a year or two on a measly style of living. Mother is an apothecary and gets a fair amount of business but being such a poor district we hardly ever get paid in cash. Most give the rest of what they have and it's normally a small amount of corn or terresae.

"Ka-Kat-Katniss, we-we-we need to t-t-talk." My mother stumbles as her hands shake and her eyes fill with tears. I rush to her side but she just pushes me away. "You might want to have a seat." she says.

"It looks like your the one who needs to sit down." I say pulling out a chair for her but she refuses it. It seems like forever before she looks at me and when she does the pain and sorrow in her eyes breaks my heart all over again.

"Katniss... I'm pregnant." I gasp and stare at her. There's no way. There is no way we can afford another mouth to feed. I shake my head and put my fists to my eyes resisting the tears. I feel my heart sinking and I have to get away. I run out the back door. I run through the meadow not checking for a single soul. I run until my side catches a stitch and my eyes go blurry. I run until I hit the fence and I slide under it as fast as I ever have. I ignore the pain. I run until my feet stumble. I run until I feel my legs give away. I feel my world slipping away and I see the light falling through a dark tunnel shrinking and shrinking by the second. I feel my body hit the ground and I sleep.

_Katnisss, Kaaaatnissssss. I hear my name and my head jerks up. It's my father's voice. I'm up on my feet ready to run. I will catch him this time I know it. Kaaaaa__ttttniiiissssss I hear behind me and I'm running in to the woods. I run and run and run but I can't see him. I only hear his voice in the wind. My heart deflates and I know I will never catch him. I sigh and turn around to leave and go home when my boot gets caught on a root. I am sent sprawling across the forest floor covered in pine needles, twigs, and leaves. I wiggle my boot free from the root and stand up brushing myself off when a streak of moonlight reflects off something shiny. I walk closer to get a better look and see a tin box wedged into a hole at the base of a massive tree. I pull the box out without much effort and set it next to me. Something stops me from leaving though. I get a feeling that something else is hiding in the hole. I reach my hand in and find nothing so I stick more of my arm in to the hole and feel around when my hand brushes against something. Sticking my whole arm in the tree I extend it all the way to the very back of the hole and pull out a leather-bound book. Could it be..the one of my fathers? I stand up and collect my treasures. Half asleep I make my way back home and walk to my bedroom careless of the mud and dirt my boots tracked in. I set the box and leather book in the chair next to the door and take off my boots. Falling in to bed I sleep for the few hours I have left. _

"Katniss. Seriously. Do you really think it's necessary to make a mess and just leave it there? And why did you stay out so late. I was worried sick." With one eye I peek at my mother and she is standing in my doorway with her hands on her hips and a frown on her face. _Mess..what mess? _ I sit up too quickly remembering my dream and clutch my head and bend over ignoring the pain in my back. More slowly this time I sit up and look around my room. Everything is normal except my boots which are caked in mud, leaves, and pine needles. I turn to look at my mother again and see the tin box and the book sitting in the chair last night. _So it wasn't a dream! _ I dash to the door and grab the stuff off my chair. I place the book on my dresser and slowly open the tin box. My mother notices I'm not even going to apologize or offer to clean up my mess and huffs. She turns and leaves and the contents of the box makes me scramble back.


End file.
